I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
