Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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