That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
