why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
