Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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