I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
