Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize