i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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