so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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