I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
