Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
