new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
