why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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