I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
