I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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