Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
