Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
