my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
