Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
