Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize