I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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