you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
