On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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