So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
