Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
