Acid is not a monday night drug
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize