the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
