sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
