awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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