He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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