put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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