I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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