bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
