Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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