Apparently you make a good broom.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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