I'm gonna have a badass scar
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
