I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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