The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm always down for nudity.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
