I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
