Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
