YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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