I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Green mimosas i think yes
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The air taste purple.
Randomize
