Me. At least after what I've been through.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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