I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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