You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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