What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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