He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
is wine microwaveable?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
