Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
