You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize