problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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