i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
