My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
