i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
