did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
