She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
