I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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