Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
