I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
