how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
