My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
